


paint me a picture.

by pudding (naiyou)



Category: Produce 101 (TV), UNIQ (Band), UP10TION, X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Lies, M/M, also wooseok believes in his own lies, i don't know what i just wrote!, more lies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:54:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25185937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naiyou/pseuds/pudding
Summary: wooseok loves painting pictures that people would love to seepictures of him that weren't even real.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16
Collections: Challenge #3 — Sound of Silence





	paint me a picture.

**Author's Note:**

> i hate how the sound of silence song is literally playing in my head as i wrote this  
> also this is kinda based on a real person? but whatever happens here is fiction. the person i based this on is not yet crazy,,, i think,,,  
> if you feel like you're lying way too much, you might need to uh contact a therapist  
> but i'm not majoring psychology so don't @ me
> 
> also i might have been doing this challenge for the past two challenges literally i cannot write a fic with a lot of conversation?

sometimes, wooseok lies. most of the time, it's to impress people so that they see a beautiful image he painted with a web of colourful lies. ones he uses to look naive, to stray away from what he really is to be someone else more desirable.

though sometimes he does feel like he shouldn't and when it happens, then wooseok makes his statements vague instead. so people could think, could assume that maybe he's this and that. maybe wooseok is the victim, after all. only a few words are needed, lightly suggesting something else, pointing at somebody that shouldn't be taking the blame.

honestly, even if he did feel a little guilty, it doesn't matter. if he could get away with something he did wrong, then that's better. even more when they sympathise with him, being the victim is always better than being the one accused, after all.

sometimes, wooseok lies to make himself feel better about something. the thought of having others think he's better than everyone else makes him feel loved. people gasping in awe makes him feel a little more powerful. makes him feel bigger than what his brain, what he thinks everyone around him is making him feel. somehow, he became more than a pathetic human being that has no brains, no use.

pathetic.

it's a cycle that will never end, wooseok can't get out of it because he's getting what he wanted most.

love, affection, friendship.

if he were to be himself, he knew that he wouldn’t be this loved. if they knew he weren’t this awesome, that he wasn’t this skilled or that he isn’t rich and the things that he had been showing everyone else weren’t his.

but every secret would be found out, every lie would be revealed to everyone else.

when it did, wooseok’s life is suddenly not the same anymore.

it’s so silent. all the people who claimed to care for him, where are they now? even if he wondered, he’d never get the answer to that.

nobody loves him. nobody cares for him.

it’s not a great feeling when everyone’s against you. all he wants to do is to hide somewhere he felt safe. but how could he do that when he doesn’t feel safe anywhere at all?

still, he slowly disappears, throwing away all the other things that was left and just simply giving up.

slowly disappearing. yeah, he should act as if he doesn’t exist anymore. he’s dead. all these beautiful things he thought would be his in the future- all of this ruined just because he lied about way too many things.

no one loves him anymore,

it’s time to say goodbye.

he was about to truly let go of everything and jump,

then there’s seungyoun.

one person who’d been searching for him since he started disappearing. the only person who noticed when he was slowly slipping away.

he doesn’t speak when he hugs him but he was warm. totally different from how the others had treated him right after finding out who he truly was. after all that happened, seungyoun helped him stand up again, gain confidence in his true self.

love.

oh, how he wish that’s how it turned out in the end. insecurity slowly ate him, he wanted to be the apple of his eye but how could he do that if the voices in his head tell him that he isn't being loved?

he's stupid, useless. all he could do is give everyone else an illusion of who he is. else, they'd lose their interest in him and he would have to resort to crying, begging. sometimes, he'd tell seungyoun he'd kill himself if he left. seungyoun still loved him even after all that. silently assuring him that he wouldn't leave him. making him momentarily forget about his worries when he hugs him tight. 

wooseok believed, he put all of his faith in him. seungyoun wouldn't leave him, right?

but in the end, it's all the same as everyone else. right now, there’s only silence that accompanies him in this room painted white. a tightly locked door, no windows.

there’s no way out- he has to pay for all the things he made up.

(at least, that's what people are telling him. wooseok thinks that there's nothing wrong, because they're real. in his head, most of them are all real.)

it's a cycle once again. to fill this silence in his chest, wooseok finds himself a new place to fit into. without it, he's nothing but a mere blank canvas. he's a nobody, and people wouldn't love him anymore if he found out who he was.

like everyone else who used to love him. who claimed to care for him. even if it's just an illusion and both of them are lying, at least, for a brief moment, _wooseok is loved._


End file.
